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Here is the TBS materials list so this is what I started with I have ideas for the paper and the copper pipe but I don’t know if it will work stay tuned.

• 10 gm Size 10 met copper seed beads
• 10 gm Size 10 trans amethyst ab seed beads
• 8 gm size 10 turquoise op. ab seed beads
• 10 gm size 10 lustre purple seed beads
• 10 gmbsize 8 turquoise op. seed beads
• 10 gm size 6 copper lined crystal seed beads
• 1 18mm fp amethyst
• 8 4mm op. bronze metallic fp
• 4 8mm transp tanzanite fp
• 12 metallic purple med rounds
• 5 6mm round fancy bronze
• 6 6 mm matte met. Purple
• 15 6 mm matte transp. Purple
• 2 12mm copper beads
• 1 copper pipe end
• paper

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So am going to focus on writing the blog more (well I will actually write something) A lot of things have happened that have giving me a lot to think about. I am thinking of teaching so I am looking in to it. I am thinking of doing photography for other artists. I think I am not as threatening to some people as I have no desire to do more than that. I would never do more than that I want to make things not do photography. Rachel Nelson-Smith made a big impact on me when she came to the store in February. I realized that I can be someone that has my work in books, magazines and others would like to learn from me. The other thing that happened to me was I went to a lecture at the Galdstone put on by the Metal Arts Guild of Canada with Emmanuel Lopez – Motivatorman that got me to realize that I can be an artist even tough I am not “deep, significant, meaningful and or serious” What I learned that I shouldn’t care what box I fit in I should just make my own box and even if I never fit in with the “big time” fine art craft people than it doesn’t matter. What and who I am is fine. My goofy silly self is fine and what I create though it is not earth shattering it’s my passion and it can stand next to anyone. I don’t need to apologize for being me and creating what I want to. What I would like to do is get others like me to believe that that can be themselves and create something that is good just because they think it good and that is what matters.

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I have been doing cross stitch to make my Christmas gifts this year. I did some of of Subversive Cross Stitch patterns, I did a Star wars pattern for my cousin Sarah.

But I really liked doing the Mini Pop cross stitch for Sherone. I would love to do a seres of the mini pop but they are not my designs they are Craig Robinson’s of Flip Flop Flying. I my start drawing with pixels to see what I come up with.

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I am not a writer like I said but I will try to keep up the blog. What I have been doing is making gifts and wondering where all me sales are. Everyone says how much they like the work but no one buys. I have only had one sale all the time I have been on etsy. I am in a local store here in Toronto Made You Look but I don’t know how sales are there yet. I wonder what I am doing wrong? Stay turned and if you have any ideas I am want to hear them (i need to hear).

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I am a bit time procrastinator and I have been working on making rings bur didn’t get around to shooting photo’s of them till I had over 40 rings!! I have been working on the photos since last Friday and they are on flickr and my etsy shop, From now on I will shoot as I go. I also have emailed a gallery and will be calling tomorrow or Friday. Keep your fingers crossed

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I have a image of my brooches in the online magazine. It’s the DC issue of DIY Magazine. I did tell them when they asked that I was a Canadian but they didn’t care. But I am glad that I am on a page with Obama stuff I think my Mother and Terry would have a problem if I was on with McCain. But today is the day to be a Canadian and I am going to vote. I am just hopping that Harper doesn’t get a majority it bad now let’s not make it worse.

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I would write more but I am so self conscious about it because I have dyslexia. I don’t feel the freedom that I have with creating visuals. I also have people that don’t understand that if I can’t spell or write properly that doesn’t make me stupid. I second guess my self which I don’t do when I am working visually. I wish it was different but that is the way it is. I just will work around it I guess.

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I did the Queen West Art Crawl this weekend and I actually made money. I got so much great feedback from people. I now know that I am not fooling myself my work is good and different and some people want to buy it. I can feel that things are going to turn around for me.

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I made no sales at the show in Kitchener. I am beginning to think that I may be fooling myself and i should give up the idea of making Blackjam working as a business. It’s just I don’t know what I can do and the idea of giving up making things makes me cry. This weekend will tell me if I should give up and rethink what I should be doing liking making money so I can stop being a burden to everyone.

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